Does anyone else struggle with feeling inadequate?
Probably not.
Everyone else probably has it all together, with all those organized charts and printables that have over a million pins on Pinterest. Well, I downloaded those awesome organizational charts and calendars and meal planners and shopping lists and budget trackers. But then I was too lazy to retrieve the printer that's stashed underneath the bed right now because I can't think of a good place to put it. And it's out of ink anyway.
I'll be honest - I struggle a lot with feeling inadequate. A lot.
Por exemplo....
See? I have a thousand thoughts like this running through my head every day. Do you know how much time I waste feeling inadequate?! I can't even imagine all the things I could accomplish if I decided to accept myself, inadequacies and all, and move on.
So why don't I? Why don't we?
Because there's this thing called sin, and it constantly reminds us of our depravity. It calls to us, saying you're wrong! unworthy! inadequate! unlovable! unattractive! and a thousand other things that cause us to doubt our worth. It's so much easier for me to believe that I stink at being a wife than it is to say, Christ has called me to be a wife, and what an amazing gift that is! I will strive to glorify Him in my role as wife, each and every day. One option allows me to wallow in self-pity, and the other demands my active involvement for a greater purpose. Wallowing is a lot easier. But it's also a lot less productive, and ultimately, a lot less attractive to the people around me. No one ever said, On my list of 15 things I seek in a friendship, focusing on personal inadequacies is #1.
But wallowing in inadequacy blinds me from the truth that it's not about me. This whole life that I get to live, this whole world and every single action in it, is about God. It's not about whether or not I do yoga, or how clean our apartment is, or what I make for dinner tomorrow. It's about the glorification of God and the power of salvation through Christ. It's about making wise decisions that glorify Christ and bring me into a closer and deeper relationship with Him, because He died for me.
Now, that might mean joining a yoga class to engage in relationships with nonbelievers in order to share the gospel with them. And it might mean keeping a clean apartment that is warm and welcoming to guests. And it could even mean that I'm intentional about preparing healthy food that nourishes the body because it is the temple of God. But I've changed the purpose, the goal of my actions. I'm no longer doing things to win the approval of people, but to glorify God. "Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men..." (Colossians 3:23). I'm dying to myself, and living for Christ. And I think that's a lot better than wallowing in my self-constructed inadequacies.
This suddenly makes my frustration towards dust bunnies seem pretty irrelevant.
Probably not.
Everyone else probably has it all together, with all those organized charts and printables that have over a million pins on Pinterest. Well, I downloaded those awesome organizational charts and calendars and meal planners and shopping lists and budget trackers. But then I was too lazy to retrieve the printer that's stashed underneath the bed right now because I can't think of a good place to put it. And it's out of ink anyway.
I'll be honest - I struggle a lot with feeling inadequate. A lot.
Por exemplo....
- The food I make is never as delicious as I thought it would be. Or it's not as pretty. Or way too salty. Or would have been better with garlic instead of basil. Or doesn't contain enough cool ingredients like quinoa or coconut flour or pureed essence of kiwi. (Ok, I think I made that last one up...but who knows.)
- I feel like I never clean our home well enough. I know there's got to be hidden dirt somewhere that a visitor will immediately notice but never point out. Instead, she'll secretly judge me as an insufficient wife and subtlety start a Pinterest board called "101 Tips to Keep Your House Clean" in the hopes that I follow it and learn the wonders of vinegar and baking soda.
- I'm never as kind or sweet or humble or compassionate as other wives. They're the kind of women who've read all of Beth Moore's books. On purpose. They're clearly nicer to their husbands and they probably never complain about doing laundry or waking up early or wearing a dress on a non-church day. All of which, by default, makes them a better "Proverbs 31 wife" than me.
- Also, I should be doing yoga. Or running. Or doing that Crossfit thing. Why? Because other people are, and since I'm not...well, that clearly makes me lazy.
See? I have a thousand thoughts like this running through my head every day. Do you know how much time I waste feeling inadequate?! I can't even imagine all the things I could accomplish if I decided to accept myself, inadequacies and all, and move on.
So why don't I? Why don't we?
Because there's this thing called sin, and it constantly reminds us of our depravity. It calls to us, saying you're wrong! unworthy! inadequate! unlovable! unattractive! and a thousand other things that cause us to doubt our worth. It's so much easier for me to believe that I stink at being a wife than it is to say, Christ has called me to be a wife, and what an amazing gift that is! I will strive to glorify Him in my role as wife, each and every day. One option allows me to wallow in self-pity, and the other demands my active involvement for a greater purpose. Wallowing is a lot easier. But it's also a lot less productive, and ultimately, a lot less attractive to the people around me. No one ever said, On my list of 15 things I seek in a friendship, focusing on personal inadequacies is #1.
But wallowing in inadequacy blinds me from the truth that it's not about me. This whole life that I get to live, this whole world and every single action in it, is about God. It's not about whether or not I do yoga, or how clean our apartment is, or what I make for dinner tomorrow. It's about the glorification of God and the power of salvation through Christ. It's about making wise decisions that glorify Christ and bring me into a closer and deeper relationship with Him, because He died for me.
Now, that might mean joining a yoga class to engage in relationships with nonbelievers in order to share the gospel with them. And it might mean keeping a clean apartment that is warm and welcoming to guests. And it could even mean that I'm intentional about preparing healthy food that nourishes the body because it is the temple of God. But I've changed the purpose, the goal of my actions. I'm no longer doing things to win the approval of people, but to glorify God. "Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men..." (Colossians 3:23). I'm dying to myself, and living for Christ. And I think that's a lot better than wallowing in my self-constructed inadequacies.
This suddenly makes my frustration towards dust bunnies seem pretty irrelevant.
"May the Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who has loved us and given us eternal encouragement and good hope by grace, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good work and word."
2 Thessalonians 2:16-17
I love this! When are you coming back to school btw? I wanna chat w/ you!
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking about this a lot lately, and then I thought about it some more after I read this. I tend to say I don't care about being good enough, but I know it's in a fairly defensive tone. I try to remind myself about 2 Cor. 12:9 (I had to google it. WHATEVER!) and tell myself: this is sufficient. What I'm doing, or at least trying to do, is sufficient. And you're sufficient, too.
ReplyDelete